Family/Relationship Conflict

Therapy for Family & Relationship Conflict

Having a difficult or volatile relationship with a loved one can be a maddening and consuming experience. It can often times dictate our entire inner lives making us feel depressed, enraged, physically ill, or unable to sleep. Despite how many times you may have tried letting things go or communicating with them to resolve whatever conflict lies between you it can frequently go nowhere making you feel even more frustrated. Maybe you’ve probably even suggested or tried family or couples therapy and it either wasn’t helpful or the other person/people refused to go. You’re probably sick of feeling stuck and don’t know what else to do. Fortunately, there is a lot of benefit to be had in seeking therapy for yourself to better learn how to cope with and navigate these relationships for yourself.

While I do offer couples or family therapy from time to time, I have found that frequently these modalities can be more harmful than helpful leading to break ups, continued arguments and wasted money, and even deeper woundings. This is not to discredit the entirety of couples or family therapy whatsoever. There are tons of benefits to be had from these approaches. But frequently the thing that has you stuck in unhealthy patterns with your others is that one or all of you are feeling incredibly defensive around each other and little will change that if you continue that way. Often times it can help to get individual support out of the dynamic to get fresh perspective – to learn what you can realistically do rather than begging, pleading, screaming for the other person to change.

Many of the clients who come to me for relationship conflicts tend to:

  • have one or more narcissistic parents/spouses/children
  • be sick and tired of the constant arguing and nastiness
  • resort to blaming (either the other person or themselves)
  • struggle to accept the other person or people for who they are
  • have a hard time coping with the difficult feelings these strained relationships bring
  • let these feelings bleed into other relationships
  • have a history of relating in patterns that are causing them distress
  • feel depressed, angry, anxious, hopeless, alone, like their “losing their minds”
  • struggle with vulnerability
  • struggle with boundaries

I can help you:

  • see and accept your role in these dynamics that contributes to the dynamic
  • take responsibility for what you can reasonably change
  • learn to accept the other person and their limitations
  • feel more grounded in themselves
  • learn better strategies for dealing with this person
  • understand the deeper issues behind your triggers with this person
  • learn to self-sooth and set appropriate boundaries
  • break out of your patterns so you can have healthy and more fulfilling future relationships

I will help you by support you in taking more control over your life and the things you can reasonably change. While venting about an other is inevitably a part of the therapeutic process it doesn’t provide the change you’re probably looking for. At the end of the day there is still one remaining question: what are you going to do about it? We all have choices even when it feels like we don’t. I will support you in developing the courage and skills to actually make changes in your life and difficult relationships that are in your best interest and in ways that advocate you being true to yourself.

To learn more about my approach please visit my About Therapy page. For a complimentary 20 minute phone session or to schedule an initial session 50% off please contact me at 510-329-8674.

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