On Choosing a Partner

People get partnered or married for a million different reasons. However, with divorce rates as high as they are, for many it is only a matter of time before the reasons they decided to partner or marry their significant other in the first place start to lose their flavor. (This article does a great job of highlighting why so many marry the wrong person in the first place.) Rest assure, if this has or is happening to you don’t freak out. It’s normal for the feelings you have towards your significant other to change. People, life, and relationships have to change by their very nature. It is the way you approach and deal with these changes that defines who you are and the quality of your relationship. Your partner should be the one person who accepts the inevitability of those changes, and supports you in constantly having to create yourself in becoming the person you want to be.

“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.” 

~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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